Tapwater Conchs.com

DAN                           DENNIS

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TAPWATER CONCHS BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A POT OF GOLD AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW. IT'S CALLED KEY WEST

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TAPWATER CONCHS UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENS IN THE KEYS STAYS IN THE KEYS

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TAPWATER CONCHS SEE DRINKING AS A SPORT

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TAPWATER CONCHS AGREE THAT FANTASYFEST IS BETTER THAN MARDI GRAS

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TAPWATER CONCHS DIVE, FISH, PARTY LIKE LOCALS WHEN THEY ARE IN THE KEYS

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TAPWATER CONCHS KNOW WHERE THE "REAL" LOCALS BARS ARE LOCATED AND THEY KNOW THE BARTENDERS ON A FIRST NAME BASIS

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TAPWATER CONCHS ARE CONSISTANLY AMAZED AT MAGICIAN FRANK EVERHART JR'S SKILL AND HUMOR AT THE SCHOONER WHARF BAR

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TAPWATER CONCHS ARE ALWAYS SAD THE LAST DAY THEY're IN THE KEYS

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TAPWATER CONCHS ONLY GO TO THE SUNSET CELEBRATION WHEN THEY HAVE NEW FRIENDS THAT WANT TO SEE IT

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TAPWATER CONCHS ARE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE, ALL AGES, ALL INCOME LEVELS, ALL COLORS, AND COME ALL SHAPES AND SIZES. THEY ARE CONNECTED BY THEIR LOVE OF THE KEYS

Honorary TWCs...
 

Liz  & Kim...
Steve Ruth
Sheri Ruth
Joe Tenbusch
Marty Kane
Anne Kane
Michelle Riley
Jerry & Jeanine

Melinda Wanna Peece

Kelly Perez

(saltwater conch)

Dale Strobel

Dave & Ellen Liska

Gerald Podlesak

Sheri Cabanas,

Mitch Roop,

Sue Taubitz,

??????? .YOU?

Send us an email if you'd like to be on the list!

 

                           

 

THE
TAPWATER CONCHS
IN
WINTER WONDERLAND

 

 

Tap Water Conchs are folks that travel down to the Keys several times a year. They love it! But they are responsible for a job, family, or other things that make them ONLY VISIT the Keys.

 

There is a whole subculture of people around the world that keep coming back to PARADISE, the Keys of Florida.

 

 Look for the Tapwater Conchs' cd on the Schooner Wharf Bar's jukebox in Key West!

 

GET A PLACE TO STAY

SCHOONER WHARF BAR

INFO KEY WEST

DENNIS' REAL ESTATE LINK

DAN'S HOME PAGE

ORDER TAPWATER CONCH CD

FRANK EVERHART'S WEBSITE

   

                      Tapwater Conchs                                       Frank Water Conch

                 Summer Of Glove Tour

DIRECT FROM BAND
$7 (unlimited)
Digital download of What Happens in Key West.

$10 (unlimited)
CD

$50 (unlimted)
Signed CD set; Signed T-shirt; and a "'Thank you' phone call from Dennis and Dan for buying What Happens in Key West. You can tell him what you like about the record that you purchased, or what you thought sucked.

"You can ask whatever you want, like, 'Is FantasyFest really that weird?' or 'What was Kiss like in the 70’s?' or ' It' s your five minutes to yack it up. Talk about whatever you want."

$250 (limited edition of 25) 5 left
Signed CD and digital download; signed T-shirt; signed drum head by Marty; and "go on a Party cruise boat in Sarasota Bay with Dan performing…. Or be guest of honor at Dennis & Kim performance."

$500 (limited edition of fifteen)  7 left
Signed CD and digital download; signed T-shirt; signed drum head by Marty; and "go on a lunch date with Dan Marina Jack’s in Sarasota OR Dennis & Kim at Pete and Shorty’s in Clearwater (we buy)."

$1,000 (limited edition of ten)  4 left
Signed CD and digital download; signed T-shirt; signed drum head by Marty; Kim "washes your car” OR Dennis “doe s your laundry” OR Dan ... plus have dinner with Dennis, Dan, and Marty at The Schooner Wharf in Key West "get loopy and make rude noises in the parking lot of  (filmed and posted on YouTube, of course)." You get to play/ride the2009 Fantasyfest float or walk beside it throwing beads.  October 31st, 2009.

$2,500 (limited edition of seven)   4 left
Signed CD and digital download; "get a private guitar lesson from Dan, or for you non musicians, have him give you a back and foot massage (couples welcome);" "pick any member of the Tapwater Conchs (subject to availability) to accompany you and your partner to Disneyworld for the day. Our treat." ; "take three items of your choice out of Kim’s closet (first come, first serve);" " (after hitting the strip club with Dennis)."

$5,000 (limited edition of five)  3 left
Signed CD and digital download; signed T-shirt; "Dan and Dennis write a song about you and make it available on iTunes.  The song becomes YOUR property. "co-direct a video AT Fantasyfest 2009 for the song about you and throw it up on the YouTube;" Signed electric guitar.  You get to play/ride the2009 Fantasyfest float or walk beside it throwing beads.  October 31st, 2009.

$10,000 (limited edition of one)    1 left
Signed CD and digi tal download; Signed T-shirt; signed electric guitar, Dennis gives you a private songwriting lesson OR his and hers foot/back massage (couples welcome, discreet parking);"

Dan and Dennis write a song about you and make it available on iTunes.  The song becomes YOUR property. "co-direct a video AT Fantasyfest 2009 for the song about you and throw it up on the YouTube;" Signed electric guitar. You get to play/ride the2009 Fantasyfest float or walk beside it throwing beads.  October 31st, 2009.


"Dan and Dennis take you and a guest to Key West for the weekend and hit the town It's all yours... take it. Just drop him off on your way home, though, please."

$20,000 (limited edition of one) Key West Tours    1 left
Signed CD and digital download; Signed T-shirt; signed electric guitar; 5 drum lessons from Marty, 5 voice lessons from Kim. Dan and Dennis take you miniature golfing and then drop you off on the side of the freeway (all filmed and posted on YouTube).

Dan and Dennis write a song about you and make it available on iTunes.  The song becomes YOUR property. "co-direct a video AT Fantasyfest 2009 for the song about you and throw it up on th e YouTube;" Signed electric guitar. You get to play/ride the2009 Fantasyfest float or walk beside it throwing beads.  October 31st, 2009.

"Magician Frank Everhart gives you a tour of Key West. See Jimmy Buffet’s first living space, visit The SkyConch lounge where “What Happens in Key West was written. Get a copy of the unpublished Kim “short-short mini dress pics, OR Marty short-short Locomotion engineer cutoffs pic.  See the liquor store he got busted at using a fake ID when he was 17 (it was Dave from the Vandals' old ID). Go check out Snoop Dogg's high school. For an extra 50 bucks see where Captain Tony hit on Kim. For another $25 he'll show ya where Crazy Joe (one of the 2 “northern Bred upstanding buddies) fell flat on his face during Fantasyfest 2005 and helped inspire “I’ll Stay Sober ‘til October”.  Get your picture taken with the lovely Evalena, owner of the Schooner Wharf.

"Spend the day aboard the Seebago and take the 'Ghosts And Key West' tour at night; Dennis and Dan write two songs about you and both=2 0are made available on iTunes and appear on their next record (you can sing back up on 'em, clap, play thecowbell, whatever); Marty drum lesson OR foot and back massage (once again… couples welcome and d iscreet parking available); pick any three items out of Josh's closet."

$75,000 (limited edition of one) Key West Tours    1 left
Signed CD digital download; signed T-shirt; Be “Conch of Honor” for 3 days of Fantasyfest. Accommodations provided. Be apart of the band, no musical skill required. Rooms provided; "Tapwater Conchs write, record and release a five-song EP about you and your life story; signed electric guitar.  Using a driver, do shots and cruise Key West for those 3 Fantasyfest days.

"Dan and Dennis will join your band for 2 weeks... play shows, record, party with groupies, etc.; if you don't have a band they'll be your personal assistant for a month (four-day work weeks, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.).

"Take a limo down to Key West and they'll show you how it's done (what that means exactly we can't legally get into here).  Dennis, Dan, Kim, & Marty will meet your parents.

"Magician Frank Everhart gives you a tour of Key West. He will create and teach you your very own magic trick, that from then on will be called “The (insert your name…routine”). The See Jimmy Buffet’s first living space, visit The SkyConch lounge where20“What Happens in Key West was written. Help sing at least one song at The Schooner Wharf,  liquor store he got busted at using a fake ID when he was 17 (it was Dave from the Vandals' old ID). Go check out Snoop Dogg's high school. For an extra 50 bucks see where Captain Tony hit on Kim. For another $25 he'll show ya where Eric from NOFX and Brooks from Bad Religion get their hair cut.

"Spend the day aboard the Seebago and take the 'Ghosts And Key West' tour at night; help re enact the stories if you wish.  Dennis and Dan write two songs about you and both are made available on iTunes and appear on their next record (you can sing back up on 'em, clap, play thecowbell, whatever);  5 Marty drum lessons OR foot and back massage (once again… couples welcome and discreet parking available); pick any three items out of Kim's closet."

Get your picture taken with the lovely Evalena, owner of the Schooner Wharf.

 

                       

                  

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